Women Spirituality Pioneer Sally Quinn's Faith Journey - Cherry-Picking Religion Saved Her Soul

When most Americans think about women's faith journeys, they picture dramatic conversion moments or life-altering crises. But what if the most authentic path to women's spirituality actually begins with rebellion, progresses through rigorous questioning, and culminates in the radical act of creating your own sacred practice?

This remarkable story of spiritual evolution comes to light through Sally Quinn, the legendary Washington Post journalist who spent decades covering the most influential figures in American politics before discovering her own approach to interfaith dialogue. Known for her sharp wit, fearless reporting, and creation of the groundbreaking "On Faith" section at the Washington Post, Quinn's credentials as a bridge-builder between religious and secular worlds make her uniquely qualified to illuminate what contemporary spirituality looks like for women breaking religious barriers in modern America.

In this episode of The Wise Women with Daisy Khan, Sally Quinn shares her faith journey that began with childhood atheism, progressed through professional skepticism, and transformed into a deeply personal approach to interfaith spirituality built on universal principles rather than traditional doctrine. Her path represents what many spiritual awakening women experience today - the courage to question inherited beliefs while seeking authentic meaning. Today, her perspective offers a blueprint for millions of Americans who identify as "spiritual but not religious," particularly women religious leaders seeking meaning beyond institutional boundaries.

The Teenage Rebellion That Started Everything  

Quinn's spiritual journey didn't begin with a moment of divine revelation but with a 13-year-old's honest response to what she saw as a theological contradiction. Sitting in Sunday school, young Sally couldn't understand why Christians worshiped a God who would sacrifice his own son. "I just would go in there and I kept thinking, why are we worshiping a God who would kill his own son?" she recalls. "I didn't want to worship that person who would do that to his child."

When she announced her atheism to her father, his reaction was so intense that he attempted bribery. During a business trip to Paris, he returned with gorgeous French black suede heels, her first high heels, promising them to Sally if she would attend church. She accepted the deal, put on the shoes, and walked deliberately to the front pew so everyone could see her new footwear. "I don't think he had any idea that I was bluffing," she laughs. "He bribed me, and it didn't work."

This wasn't mere teenage rebellion for its own sake but an early demonstration of the intellectual honesty that would later shape both her journalism career and spiritual evolution. The young woman who refused to accept religious explanations that didn't make sense would grow into a journalist who demanded evidence and a spiritual seeker who insisted on authenticity over convenience.

Creating Interfaith Dialogue Through Journalism  

Quinn's transformation began not through personal crisis but professional curiosity about contemporary spirituality. Following 9/11, she recognized that mainstream media was failing to adequately cover the religious dimensions of global events, particularly the need for authentic interfaith dialogue. "People didn't understand Islam," she observed. "I just thought there was such a misunderstanding of this faith." When she approached her editors about covering religion more seriously, they assigned her to create a website about faith despite her protests that she knew nothing about religion or the internet.

"Don, I don't know anything about religion. I don't know anything about the Internet," she told publisher Don Graham. His response became prophetic: "Well, nobody's perfect."

What began as a professional assignment became a quest to understand women's interfaith dialogue across traditions. Working with co-moderator John Meacham, Quinn created "On Faith," facilitating spiritual conversations with people across the entire religious spectrum - Muslims, Jews, Christians, Hindus, atheists, even snake handlers. "I wanted to see what people believed in," she explains. "Religion has been such a driving force in the world over thousands of years. I kept thinking, I don't understand this. I want to know what this is about."

This journalistic approach to women's spirituality would prove revolutionary. Rather than accepting any single religious framework, Quinn applied the same rigorous questioning that made her an exceptional reporter to matters of ultimate meaning, essentially pioneering a new form of interfaith spiritual conversations through mainstream media.

Building Authentic Women Spirituality Through Personal Choice  

Perhaps the most groundbreaking aspect of Quinn's approach to contemporary spirituality is her unapologetic method of what she calls "cherry-picking" from different religions. "Most people of faith of one specific faith don't like this word," she acknowledges, "but I cherry-picked from all the religions. I would just choose things about each faith that I really liked and appeal to me, and incorporate them into my life."

This wasn't casual spiritual shopping but careful selection based on authentic resonance, representing a new model for women's faith journey in modern America. Through her research into interfaith spirituality, Quinn discovered what she considers the universal foundation of all traditions. The golden rule became her cornerstone. "Do unto others as you will have others do unto you," she says. "It's the one thing that makes sense in every religion, and I've been trying to live my life that way."

Her approach challenges traditional notions of religious authority while honoring the wisdom found across traditions, representing a new paradigm for women breaking religious barriers. Quinn's willingness to create "a religion of one's own" suggests that authentic women's spirituality might require the courage to trust your own spiritual instincts rather than accepting inherited beliefs uncritically. This perspective aligns with growing numbers of spiritual awakening women who identify as "spiritual but not religious," seeking meaning through personalized interfaith dialogue rather than institutional boundaries.

Sacred and Sensual Integration  

In her latest novel, "Silent Retreat," Quinn explores territory that many spiritual traditions avoid, namely the integration of the sacred and sensual. The book follows two people who meet and fall in love during a silent retreat, challenging the false separation between spirituality and sexuality that Quinn sees as unnecessarily limiting.

"It's the difference between agape and Eros," she explains. "Agape being the emotional and psychological love, and Eros being the sexual. And they go together. I mean, that's what marriage is." Quinn's perspective, informed by her study of Islam's integrated approach to spirituality and sexuality, suggests that authentic spiritual practice must embrace the fullness of human experience rather than demanding we split ourselves into "spiritual" and "human" parts.

This integration reflects Quinn's broader philosophy that spirituality should enhance rather than deny human experience. Her silent retreat experiences taught her that sacred spaces can be simultaneously spiritual and sensuous, that the mysticism of candlelit services and the beauty of natural settings can awaken both spiritual and romantic feelings without contradiction.

The Sacred Table Tradition  

Perhaps nowhere is Quinn's integration of spirituality and community more evident than in her philosophy of hospitality. She calls the dinner table "a sacred place" and has spent decades creating gatherings that bring together people across differences. Her commitment to this practice stems from her parents' example during their military service.

On every moving day, with packing crates still scattered throughout their new home, her parents would host a dinner party. Her mother would unpack her large pot first and make Johnny Mazzetti - noodles, meat, cheese, and tomatoes. They would serve simple food on paper plates to help new colleagues get to know each other informally. "They were the best parties ever," Quinn recalls, "and it just created such great morale."

This tradition reflects Quinn's belief that authentic community requires both intentionality and authenticity. "I want them to feel like they belong, and that they are part of my sacred table, and they are part of the sacred community that we have, and I want to make them happy." Her approach demonstrates that spirituality isn't just about personal transformation but about creating spaces where others can experience belonging and acceptance.

America's Spiritual Crisis  

Quinn's spiritual lens brings clarity to her analysis of America's current divisions. Rather than seeing political polarization as merely ideological, she frames it as a spiritual crisis. "We're not good anymore," she observes. "We're not good people we're people who accept breaking the law and violating norms and values and ethics."

Her solution isn't political but moral development rooted in spiritual principles. "We've got to find somebody, a leader of this country, who cares about other people, and who cares about goodness, decency, kindness, honesty, honor." This perspective reflects her conviction that spiritual practice must translate into ethical action and community service.

The crisis, in Quinn's view, stems from a fundamental disconnect between professed religious values and actual behavior. "I don't see any one of these people behaving, asking themselves, what would Jesus do? And coming up with the answer of the way they're behaving," she says of contemporary political leaders who claim Christian faith.

The Oscar Wilde Philosophy  

Quinn keeps a plaque in her bedroom with a quote from Oscar Wilde stating "Be yourself. Everybody else is taken." This encapsulates perhaps the most important lesson of her spiritual journey - that authentic spirituality requires the courage to be fully yourself rather than conforming to others' expectations.

"I think authenticity is what I've gotten out of it," she reflects on her silent retreat experiences. "Accept myself as I am, and try to make the most of it rather than try to be somebody else." This philosophy extends beyond personal spiritual practice to encompass how we relate to others and build community.

The authenticity Quinn advocates isn't selfish individualism but honest self-acceptance that enables genuine service to others. "What makes me happy is helping other people," she explains, describing her experience caring for her husband during his final illness as some of the most fulfilling years of her marriage.

Key Lessons in Spiritual Authenticity  

Intellectual Honesty: Question everything, including your questions. Authentic faith emerges through rigorous inquiry rather than blind acceptance.

Strategic Selection: Trust your spiritual instincts when choosing practices and beliefs that genuinely resonate with your experience.

Integration Over Compartmentalization: Embrace the full range of human experience rather than splitting yourself into "spiritual" and "human" parts.

Community Building: Create spaces where others can experience belonging and acceptance across differences.

Service as Spirituality: Recognize that authentic spiritual practice must translate into compassionate action and ethical behavior.

Personal Authority: Develop the courage to create your own spiritual framework rather than accepting inherited beliefs uncritically.

Contemporary Applications for Women's Spiritual Growth  

Quinn's journey offers practical guidance for anyone exploring contemporary spirituality, particularly women seeking authentic spiritual growth in an era of religious confusion and institutional distrust. Her approach demonstrates that women's interfaith dialogue can begin at any age and starting point, that doubt and questioning can be spiritual practices rather than obstacles to faith, and that creating your own framework for interfaith spirituality requires courage but offers deep authenticity.

The linguistic precision Quinn advocates - referring to people as "formerly enslaved" rather than "freed," calling plantation sites "forced labor camps" - demonstrates that authentic women's spirituality extends to speaking truthfully about others and acknowledging historical reality. This attention to language reflects a broader commitment to honoring human dignity through both spiritual conversations and ethical actions.

The Continuing Journey  

At this stage of her life, Quinn continues seeking what she calls "finding magic," which for her means "finding someone to love" who loves her back. "What's the cutoff to stop loving?" she asks. Her ongoing openness to love and connection reflects perhaps the deepest wisdom gained through her spiritual journey - that authenticity, community, and service to others remain the most reliable paths to meaning.

As Quinn puts it, "We are wired to love. We're wired to give, and we're wired to serve." In a world desperately needing both authentic interfaith spirituality and practical compassion, her women's faith journey offers a roadmap for integrating both. Her example shows that the most genuine transformation in women's spirituality often begins with honest questioning, progresses through courageous exploration of interfaith dialogue, and culminates in the radical act of being fully yourself in service to others.

For women religious leaders and spiritual seekers alike, Quinn's path demonstrates that contemporary spirituality can honor tradition while embracing innovation, creating space for authentic spiritual conversations that bridge differences rather than deepen divisions.

Sally Quinn's latest novel, "Silent Retreat" explores the integration of sacred and sensual in spiritual community. Her memoir "Finding Magic" offers additional insights into her spiritual journey and the power of authentic self-acceptance. EndFragment

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